Kusu for you

Stepping towards a new mission which I never thought of I will walk on in my life. It is certain that it will going to hit me a lot in different ways as it is not something in my approach. If I share this with any of our acquaintance then people might definitely mock  on me by pursuing such attempt which is something kind of impossible for me. The fact is that even such questions strike my mind often that HOW DARE AM I TO THINK OF WORKING ON IT WHICH IS BEYOND MY LEVEL? AM I ABLE TO DO THIS? And many more questions like that channels my head. However, it is not that I come across this challenging decision to take over in couple of thoughts or out of some frivolous reasons. This matter have been cooking in my mind and heart since the end of 2019. And lately I got opportunity and serious thought to initiate my new mission and here I am.

Back then I was quite occupied with my own sentiments to control over as I was in the depths of despair; a deadly nightmare fell on me unexpectedly and I was not prepared for that. It literally took couple of years to heal me and to come out from that devastated situation and handle myself and my emotions. In other words, I was battling a war within me but for outside world I just pretend to be as normal as I can. 

    Whatsoever, to be true, how I am able to build a height of courage to   walk on that pavement you laid to me. The base of all those grounds is the unconditional and unlimited love and care you have bestowed me during your presence which embedded in my heart and soul in such a way that can’t be replaced and erase by anyone in this world. In addition, I deeply know you and your heart and how enthusiastic and keen you were to work on these projects. And I assume I am the only witness of the earnest wish of yours as you used to update me all those matters. Also remembering one of the key factor of our strong relationship; the   ‘Trust factor’ which you have yielded enormously from the initial stage of our relation and believed the same from me. From my-side also I beautifully sustained that trust factor from the beginning and will strengthen your words till the end. And after going through all those desires and sentiments of ours in unison and connecting all the dots of our near past then I have a strong instinct and also boosted a courage to work on your project which is shifted to OURS now.  The fact is when it comes on you then I feel like I can go beyond my level. And seriously speaking for you I dare to do anything. This is how I got the courage to work for you and work for us.

Based on all these grounds and many more emotions are laid behind taking this new academic journey holding the fact that I have to tackle all the challenges which will encounter in my path and which will going to be tough for me as I am approving something beyond my reach. And it is also certain that the success rate of my endeavor is very low however I can’t let this excuse to overpower my solemn decision. Although I kind of predict the result of my endeavor which isn’t so in favor of me but my main goal is to attempt the opportunity which life has given me; to repay your kindness, to fulfill your wish. Fortunately if I succeed then that would be my best gratitude or lifetime tribute to you for all what you have done for me and for being blessed with your presence in my life.

Since I already programmed my mind then even if I failed in my endeavor then I won’t regret rather I will be proud of myself for attempting something which is not in my range and I will feel that I tried something to please you and my soul but if I don’t attempt then I am quite sure that I will regret throughout my life and the worse part of the fact that is I may hate myself if I don’t give it a try. So this is not only for you but also for my self-contentment and how much you are valuable for me. Therefore, this is a serious combat between my ability and my emotions. And I will give my best effort to win my emotions because it connects directly with my heart and as we both normally assert and believe that we are a follower of heart rather than brain. Let’s lead our words to truth. Thumps up!!!